Emotionally Destructive Marriage Questionnaire by Leslie Vernick

Cycle of Abuse

The cycle of abuse is a social cycle theory developed in 1979 by Lenore E. Walker to explain patterns of behavior in an abusive relationship.

Power & Control Wheel, from the Duluth Model

The Power and Control Wheel represents the lived experience of women who live with a man who beats them. It does not attempt to give a broad understanding of all violence in the home or community but instead offers a more precise explanation of the tactics men use to batter women. Battering is one form of domestic or intimate partner violence. It is characterized by the pattern of actions that an individual uses to intentionally control or dominate his intimate partner. That is why the words “power and control” are in the center of the wheel. A batterer systematically uses threats, intimidation, and coercion to instill fear in his partner. These behaviors are the spokes of the wheel.

Recommended Blogs & Websites

Claire Roise Advocacy 

Leslie Vernick Blog

ARMS Website (Abuse Recovery Ministry and Services)

Book recommendation List

Emotionally Destructive Relationship by Leslie Vernick

Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick

Leslie Vernick, a popular speaker and relationship coach, is a bestselling Christian author. This book is a tremendous diagnostic tool to help determine whether a marriage is destructive or only disappointing, and Vernick offers Biblically supported principles for how to behave within a toxic relationship. 

On the Threshold of Hope by Diane Langberg  (for survivors of sexual abuse)

Suffering and The Heart of God by Diane Langberg (Guidance for helping anyone through suffering)

Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse, by Diane Langberg

Diane Mandt Langberg has been a licensed trauma psychologist in private practice for twenty-five years. In our opinion, her books contain a constant stream of profound insight into the minds and hearts of sufferers. Her passion for serving God and her compassion for people are evident throughout her work.

Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft (Understanding the abuser)

Should I Stay or Should I Go by Lundy Bancroft (A guide to understanding if your relationship can be saved)

Lundy Bancroft is not a Christian, but he is widely recognized as the foremost secular expert on abuse. Having drawn his knowledge from over thirty years of counseling and working with abusive men, Bancroft offers tremendous insight into the dynamics of abuse and the mind of the abuser. His extensive work in the field of abuse counseling lays an important foundation for anyone who wants to understand or work with domestic violence sufferers or perpetrators.

Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits.

Helping Her Get Free by Susan Brewster

Susan Brewster, a longtime psychotherapist whose practice includes working with abused women and their families, recognizes that friends and family need specific tools and ideas to help them develop a relationship with their abused loved one that will ultimately benefit her, not control her.  The survivor of an abusive relationship herself, Brewster teaches readers how to recognize the signs of abuse, handle negative feelings, become an effective advocate, deal with the abuser, and more. A must-read book for friends of abused women.